Sometimes Being a Business Owner is Tough

Perhaps this can be characterized under #firstworldproblems.

I’m currently on a plane to Bergen, Norway.  I’m speaking for 15 minutes at a seminar there about advances in petrophysics based on geophysical ideas that can be used to optimize oil & gas exploration and production practices.  Colin and I borrowed money from one business (LayRoots) to fund this trip that is for another business (GeoBiz Technology, Inc.).  We are doing this because: 1) How often do you receive an opportunity to speak across the world in front of a very targeted group of people?  and 2) It’s the only chance that GeoBiz Tech will have, at least for awhile, to get in front of the European market.

This has been tough for a few reasons.  First, LayRoots is doing well, but it makes me nervous to borrow money from it to fund another company.  What if we need that money for ourselves?  For LayRoots?  Plus, I want GeoBiz Tech to be completely self-sufficient.  The fact that it isn’t (yet – exciting things on the horizon, though) is a second, different story and is a function of it being relatively new, the geopolitics of oil & gas, and a myriad of other factors that aren’t worth getting into.

Second, more personally, is that I’m alone.  This might sound like a whiny bitch sort of thing to say, but it’s been awhile since I’ve been to Europe.  I’m sitting on a Lufthansa flight – the people are very nice.  The booze is freely offered.  They’re giving me meals and snacks.  I’m getting an opportunity to go to BERGEN which is gorgeous with some great hiking and outdoors.  My birthday is this weekend.  I just pictured having my P-I-C (partner-in-crime) with me when I went to Europe again.  I wish that he could make the trip too and that we could take a few extra days to sight-see and hike.  BUT…someone has to hold down the fort back home.  LayRoots is still very much in a growth phase and we can’t slack off right now.  Nor does it feel right to spend the extra cash on that.

I know that there will be other trips to Europe in the future, and I’m going to make the most of this one both personally and professionally.  However, being a business owner requires decisions that make you uncomfortable and that might leave out the ones you love.  I’m grateful to have someone in my life that understands these tough decisions and won’t get offended by them.  I think people…and maybe women more so…often feel bad about leaving out (which feels like leaving behind) their significant others or other people in their lives and make decisions to try and mitigate that.  They downplay their talents, for instance, or successes.  I remember not wanting people to know that I was good at math in Middle School.  Or I lied once when I got a better grade than a boyfriend on a test.  As I’ve grown as a business owner and also as a person, I definitely feel the urge to do that less…a lot less.  It sometimes creeps in though.

That’s all.

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